We've all seen them. We've all picked them up and looked them over. We might have even skimmed one a time or two, furtively looking around to make sure no one sees us doing so.Self-help books are what I'm creatively trying to allude to; those cliche, heartbreaking excuses for literature that are worth about as much as an umbrella in a wind storm (which isn't much, in case you were curious). You know, the ones you see when you're waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store with titles like "So You Want to Be Successful?" and "How to Create a More Beautiful You" or even "Optimism for Dummies." These books take in millions of suckers every year, each with the ultimate goal of making people happier.
I fully understand that wanting to be happy is a basic human desire. Almost everything we do as a society is intended to make us okay, joyful even, with who we are and what we do. And wanting that blissful contentment can be a wonderful source of motivation to better ourselves in different ways. What is dangerous about happiness, however, is the obsession people have with it. Our culture thinks that plastic surgery, material objects, a doctorate degree, popularity, or even love are finite ways of securing happiness in our lives. And while some may actually find delight in these things, there are, when you really consider it, no concrete steps to finding (and keeping) happiness. After all, at its most basic definition, happiness is relative to a person's individual characteristics.
This past summer, I suffered with anxiety and panic attacks. While I think the majority of my problem was stress-related, I decided to try an app that is "scientifically proven" to retrain your brain into being happier. I thought technology might for once actually solve my problem. But while the activities and assignments on the app are wired to produce positivity and proactive thoughts, I saw no difference in the way I approached life. And one day, while I was playing one of the app's games (in which you pop balloons with positive messages written on them), I realized that what I was doing was incredibly stupid. Because tapping digital balloons isn't going to make me any happier. Listening to encouraging messages isn't going to make me a more positive person. And trying to convince myself that I'm okay isn't going to make me more content.
The very next day, I decided to do more of what makes me happy. And as cliche as it sounds, it actually worked. I took more walks. I read cheesy romance novels. I bought a giant slice of turtle cheesecake and chose to deliberately ignore the amount of calories I was ingesting. I wrote poetry. I had a Lord of the Rings marathon...twice. And I realized, perhaps for the first time, that the little things in life are often the most capable of bringing us true joy. So in keeping with the theme of self-help, I've listed three "little things" that I've found have taught me (and will hopefully teach you) how to be happy, if only for a moment.
1. Eat Good FoodYou're probably thinking "Uhm, what?" But hear me out: think about the last time you ate a truly amazing cheeseburger. Picture the sesame seed bun and the melted cheese and the crisp lettuce and the juiciness of the meat. You savored it. You licked your fingers. You took a picture of it for Instagram. And for one small moment, you were engrossed by that cheeseburger. Food has the power to lift our spirits. It can turn a terrible day around. And if you can learn to take the time to relish your food, whether that be a filet mignon or a turkey sandwich, you might find that you appreciate what you have (food-related or otherwise) a little more.
2. Be Curious
Curiosity is one of my favorite traits in a person. People who ask questions, who aren't afraid to make mistakes, who find joy in literature and culture and art, are the type of people I love to be around. When you're a naturally inquisitive person, every experience you have becomes a mini-adventure. I want to know why Van Gogh cut off his ear and how the brain responds to pain and where exactly north meets south. Realizing that there are infinite things to know and learn in this life is exciting; asserting your curiosity can create opportunities that would otherwise never be made available and just like if Liam Hemsworth were to ask for your hand in marriage, you embrace it.
3. Invest in Humanity I read an article yesterday that showed where a
For me, happiness comes in many forms. Reading the newspaper in my favorite coffee shop, latte in hand. Taking a bubble bath with scented candles and a large glass of wine. Lying in bed with my mother, listening to her recount stories from the "good ol' days" (aka...the seventies). Laughing with my friends in a noodle-shop, pleasantly unaware of how loud we really are. Listening to vinyl records on Sunday afternoons, smug in my knowledge of 60's R&B. Discovering a new place I want to visit, pinning a flag to my oversized world map. What's important is not that I've been everywhere or have seen everything. Rather, I am content knowing that I alone am responsible for my own happiness.
You don't need a book, or an app, or a life-coach, or even me to tell you how to be happy. You only need yourself and a knowledge of what you love. You do you...and it will only go up from there.
"And I think to myself, what a wonderful world"
-Louis Armstrong